Compassion - Hellblade II
When I finished this game, I became a different person. The game follows Senua, a character on a quest for vengeance, troubled by voices in her head. The game is about forces that motivate cruelty, embodied by giants and undead creatures which create harsh conditions, and harsh people. In the game these supernatural creatures force people to adapt cruelty to survive, but we also learn that these giants themselves were once people. Senua', and the player’s perspectives are constantly challenged, to reframe her environment, and deepen our understanding. The large set pieces of the game revolve around defeating these giants, not by slaying them, but by calming the beast, learning their true name, applying compassion, and seeing their humanity, releasing them from their pain. It is a beautiful twist, but is just the foundation of a much more impactful lesson.
The final boss of the game is the first giant, who is the source of the pain and cruelty that has spread through these characters in this story. We learn that this giant, like the rest, is just a person on the inside, but what is different, is that this monster is spawned with intention, from the choices the central villain of the story makes. There is no tragic backstory, but a character who is fundamentally evil, but how do you apply compassion to an evil character? It seems as though the only thing you can do to defeat this evil is to fight it and overcome it, but this is not the answer. Fighting this evil gives it shape and power, the evil is created by the collective belief in it. Being compassionate does not mean forgiving, but understanding, and the compassionate response is to understand that this man is not evil, but huge loser dork ass fuckface nerd. He is not inhuman and evil but tragically lacking the most precious things that make us human. In denying his evil and accepting his humanity, you accept that this is, again, a big ass loser fucking dork fuckface not worthy of following, not worthy of wielding power, because he does not wield humanity. Evil is something that we do, not that we are. It is a force, a possession, but not a character trait, and conversely good is something that we pursue, that we tend to, emulate, not something that we can be, as all we can truly be is human. But that isn’t even where the lessons end.
Throughout the game Senua is plagued by doubt, she is concerned that her own pain and trauma will make her cruel. That the consequences of her actions, even though unintended, will always lead towards evil, violence, and cruelty. When we defeat this villain and humanize him, we take his place as the leader of his people, but how are we to be any better? How will we not succumb to our worse nature and bring evil into this world. These troubled voices in her head torment her with doubt, calling for her attention, and then her name is spoken. I forget if it is by the voices first or by a friend made through the game. I’m genuinely tearing up thinking about it. Because what is the purpose of names in this game? What have we been using names to do? To apply compassion, understanding, humanity, to ease pain, calm cruelty, and in this moment, the Senua has compassion given to her. It first comes from a friend, and then from herself. She humanizes herself as the remedy to her pain, she accepts and embraces her own humanity. This shit absolutely knocks my fucking socks across the pond. It blows my eyes out of my ass and makes my teeth explode. This ending allowed me to form a better relationship with myself and with this terrible world. This lesson became a foundational part of my own perspective.
Compassion is not something that is just applied to those in tragic circumstance. It is the very foundation of our humanity. It is a practice, the vessel in which we tend to good and disarm evil. It is a release, a challenge, a lifelong undertaking which I have devoted myself to, and I try to bring to life in the themes of my games.
Reverence - Lord of the Rings
The lesson of fantasy storytelling to receive from lord of the rings is one best done in contrast. What does it mean to be an elf? What does it mean to be a hobbit? What does it mean to be a dwarf? The works of Tolkien are so passionately in love with answering this question. From dialogue to performances in the Peter Jackson trilogy to the Ring of Power. There is such beauty in the unwavering adherence to the expression of fantasy that is very much lacking in so much media, especially in ttrpgs. The core of fantasy as a genre lives in the FANTASTICAL. A dragon is not fantastical because it is a big lizard with wings that breathes fire, it is force, it expresses a theme, it is beyond human, not something to be casually conquered. So many fantasy stories have only the shape of fantasy, but not the heart. They are cool adventures, but fail to reach into something greater as Tolkien does.
I think this is the hardest principle to emulate in storytelling, because it requires such a great deal of thought, care, and tending. In running a fantasy ttrpg you must constantly express, every character, description, and moment of narration must adhere to the fantasy of your world. You must question where that fantasy exists, and not let it be taken for granted, lest it become mundane. The players must feel that there is always some greater thing they are reaching toward. There must be a reason for things that distinguish them from our lives. Maybe that is not expressed through race, but something must be there that is out of reach, immutable, truly fantastical.
Horror of War - All Quiet on the Western Front(2022)
We are so heavily propagandized to embrace war as righteous and heroic. A noble pursuit, the realizing of our superior morals conquering over evil. These are the stories that return to us, that comfort and inspire us, prime us for patriotism. These kinds of stories bled into my own games, the righteous resistance against evil, the pure and noble pursuit. This movie changed that. Based on a book written by a German soldier after his experiences in ww1, All Quiet on the Western Front sheds a light on the horrors of war, the truth of soldiers being tools, the pettiness of conflict. It presents an important challenge to the presumption of superiority in one’s self and the presumption of monstrosity in an enemy. While there are evils of empire and fascism that must be fought, this story offers a perspective that war is an evil act, that soldiers are not singular heroes but people caught in the crossfire, not enacting some greater purpose, but advancing an agenda, dying for somebody else’s ideas.
The story follows a German soldier Paul, and his friends as they join the war effort. In the opening minutes of the movie they are enchanted with the glory of fighting for the fatherland, which is immediately dispelled when they join the war. There is no purpose, no agency, just pain, terror, and death. There is no heroic resolve, no honour in life or death. I think the most powerful scene in the move comes about 2 thirds of the way through, after a harrowing encounter with tanks, flamethrowers, and watching his friends die, Paul is alone and forced to confront a french soldier. The two struggle until Paul stabs him repeatedly. Paul is stuck in a hole, unable to escape because of enemy fire, with this man who is now choking on his own blood. Paul tries to shove dirt in the soldier’s mouth to choke him, but the death comes slowly, and Paul is coming apart. He tries to close his ears, begging for the sound to stop, he is overcome with fear. He then has a switch, he tries to save the man’s life, approaching him, trying to comfort him. It’s fucked up and confusing and humanizing. Paul sees this guy not as some faceless enemy but another person with a life that is ending. I think this scene in particular is the reason Legacy and Saga is built with an injury system, so that violence does not end in the glorification of killing, but the sad, slow, brutal passing.
None of these deaths serve a purpose in Paul’s story, all there is is the desperate clinging to, and loss of life. The film ends with Paul’s death moments before the end of the war. I think what strikes me about this film is how evocative it is, how much it convinces you of its message by showing you a more honest version of war. I think there are evils to fight, but I think maybe at the point we are forced to fight evil we have already lost something. War is destructive, but maybe sometimes inevitable. In order to stop the rise of German fascism taking over Europe war was necessary, but maybe we had already lost something in preventing its rise to begin with. The act of war, regardless of purpose, is an evil one, and that is something I have tried to reflect in my games.